1st March 2016 (Vanity labels your arse)

by Brendan Strong

Never really been vain,
Or at least not enough to notice.
Except today in new pants
Walking around the office:

Did I hear that right?
Did they whisper
“Cute little ass”
And smile
As I passed?
Can you imagine?

End of my lunch break,
I’m in the jacks,
I see in the mirror (thanks
to my new vanity) a
Huge Lidl tag
Hanging from my ass.