January 16th, 2016 Episodes Today

by Brendan Strong

They bumble bags of doll and teddies to the car, explaining as they go
Yes, yes, I say pretending to listen
But want to be:
Lock house
In car
Go go go

The younger, you know, wasn’t meant to come
On account of last night’s being so bold
But it’s my weekend too, and I want to spend it with them both
So I tell her she can come and make up some bullshit rule.

To Dublin, down the motorway
Inside middle outside lanes
Why do people drive fifty in the outside lane?
We’re going to need fuel
We’ll also need a new car soon.

We drop mum in town going to meet her friends
By complete fluke, we’re at Dublinia,
Just by following the roads’ bends.
They cheer and throw their arms in the air.

Small rebellion, as they ask why I’m away so much
And tell me maybe I need a new job that I’m good at
(Because I can’t be very good at it, if it takes up so long to do,
And if I have to keep going away and it’s not for a holiday)

A strange woman looks strangely at them, but I won’t let them care
Laugh it up and out goes the laugh, carrying any sense of a stare.

Vikings, Normans, architectural digs,
Exploring the lives of the past and
The ways they recreate them
(“Oh, that fire is really a red light”, she says)

Cross a bridge to Christchurch, where once
When I was the age of the elder, I sang in a choir
We talk about Jesus, God, Mary, architecture and
I’m out of my depth. Down, down to the crypt before they close!

(I don’t tell them it’s where they store the dead
For fear they’d run from ghosts. Luckily
They have outfits from The Tudors, which we talk about instead
Especially a blue one “…that looks like Elsa’s!”)

Time to go, time to go, we alight and I tell them:
A crypt’s where they store the bodies of the important dead
They don’t think that’s so important, so we head.

In the car again, Katy Perry on, the elder volunteers:
“They were talking about Katy Perry on my radio
And the lady said she was very important and the
Man said she had nice boobs”

Nervous (needing a smoke), what will be behind this door?
I ask “Well, what did you think about that?”
“I don’t know. She does have big boobs.
And in one video she shoots lightening from them”

“But what about all her songs? All her records?
Surely someone who’s worked so hard deserves
To be recognised for more than her boobs?”
“I think that’s true!” And just as I think

we’re getting somewhere

The younger joins in:
“But how does anyone know about her boobs?
She has like a bra, which could change their shape”
I’m out of my fucking depth again:
“But, what if you worked hard on something
And tried to make it beautiful and true
And when you showed it to people
They just talked about your

“I think it’s stupid.”
“I think it’s stupid too”
“Well, let’s go for a pizza, and forget about Katy Perry’s boobs.”
And that’s what we do.