…on the lighter side…

by Brendan Strong

I’ve been very reflective and perhaps a bit maudlin recently. So here are some things that made me giggle…

Ironic Forum Signature:
“It’s ok to be different, it’s good to be different, and we should
question ourselves before we judge others.” — Johnny Depp” (I can be different because Johnny Depp says it’s OK?)

Road Sign: No Unauthorized Dumping.
Jeremy, a good lad who wore decent suits and worked hard in the city just couldn’t take it any more with K. She had to go. But how to do it?
Passing through a swell in the council offices, he took a ticket and waited. On the third day, his beard started itching him. At a small hatch filled with a young woman’s head, he got the forms.
Having consulted forums (where people were different because celebrities were quite sure it was better to be different) and tried (but gave up) trying to contact the council officials, he finally managed to complete all the forms.
Six to eight weeks later, it came through the post. Laminated. Non transferrable. He took K down to the field, where he said
“Look, K, I’m really sorry, but I just don’t think this is working… It’s not you, it’s me… the past few weeks? I’ve been busy… well, getting this license…”

When you’re young, idealist and ignorant…
A young socialist, handing out “Stop the murder!” flyers on Nth Earl Street, wearing a ‘Revolutionary’ Stalin T-Shirt. (Click here to access the irony)

Racism Not Recessing, Unlike Economy
Two guys on a number 90 bus, jerking its way toward Heuston Station:
“You’d emigrate, would you?”
“Jaysis, a’ course. I’d go anywhere. I’m not stayin in f?;[ing Dublin. Are yuh mad?! No f?;[ing way. Dis place is going down the tubes”
“Yeh. The f?;[ing tubes!”
“A kip! We’re all f?;[ed anyway, so yuh might as well be goin’ over to wherever to get sum wawk.”
“Yeh. You know who I blame?”
“Bertie.”
“No, no, you’re showin yer ignorance now. No. Dem foreigners frum Africa and Eastern Your-Op”
“And the Chinese”
“No, no, ignorance! Ignorance! Everyone know the Chinese are the best workers. The problem is all dem foreigners that came over and took up dem jobs. Actchully, maybe yer right about the Chinese too. See they all got the jobs….”
“Yuh, yuh. Took them jobs right out of the hands of the Irish… what did they come here for anyway?”
“Jaysis, sher I dunno. C’mere, here’s my stop. See you next Thursday at the Social.”
“Yuh”

***
Dragon’s Den on Dave is nearly over, meaning I better get to bed.

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